Tag Archives: gardening

nature claims flawless victory

6 Apr

So tragedy has struck me for the first time this season. It’s not a surprise, considering my many life follies. I can preface this by saying I have been to the doctor regarding a piece of q-tip stuck in my ear. In my adult life. That being said, it is not a shock anytime something hilariously awful happens.

I’ve been on a roll. I mowed the yard by myself and still have my legs. I have used a handsaw. I drive to work every day without much incident. It caught up to me today.

I know you’re probably blown away by my photo editing skills, but focus for a minute!  There’s poison ivy all over my face and on my eyelid. I chanced it and put on mascara (you’re welcome), but it’s a little uncozy. I have no idea how it happened. I know I’m really into plants and stuff, but I don’t recall rubbing my face all over them out of adoration. Really, I didn’t. It’s a lot worse than in the picture too. My blindingly pale skin tends to blow everything out, usually to the point that I appear to only have eyes and a mouth in a picture. But I digress. This is simply a warning to everyone, it’s out there. Be careful, kids.

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today in the yard

5 Apr

I’ve been a very busy bee. Last Saturday, I planted all of my new acquisitions into the sloping bank of death. It certainly doesn’t look like much right now, but hopefully will fill in and be the nicest looking driveway in town.

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This is what it looked like pre-Saturday.

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And here it is now. All of my yucky plastic garden markers are still there because I haven’t had a chance to switch them out. It looks better already, right? Or am I insane? I’m going with a dark foliage and chartreuse type theme. More on that as it fills in, looks like I spent more than five minutes on it, and makes the crippling back pain more acceptable.

There’s not much showing off out there today, but there are a few gems worth posting.

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Well, these were outside. I planted them last year in a faraway corner because I didn’t know what else to do with them. I think they’re kinda fun. Even if they are tulips.

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I am not sure what these are, my Mom gave them to me in a huge bin. I think the tag said summer blooming daffodils, but it’s not summer. And they’re a lot saucier than daffodils. I give them a resounding thumbs up whatever they are.

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The $2.50 Hellebores are still putting on a show. Seriously, thank you Home Depot. Annuals? Pfft. Now, if only the stubborn f1 hybrids will start blooming so I know what color they are…

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Yes, jerk. I’m talking to you. This dirtbag is teasing me. It could be white, pink, green, red or black. I have no idea. But knowing my luck, it will be a white one with red splashes all over it because I don’t like those. If it doesn’t bloom this year, I will probably fistfight it.

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And my little Lakeside Cupcake hosta showed up this week. Last year it had an epic battle with the slugs (and lost). Right now it looks okay. I might be fistfighting some slugs this year too. It’s going to be a busy summer of hand to hand combat.

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today in the yard

25 Mar

Despite the previous update, it’s not all bad, you see. Some things are starting to pop up and bloom in this March heat wave. Here’s a few morsels of hope that are tiding me over until all of my orders get here.

The Hellebore was bought at Home Depot. They were huge, blooming, and marked as annuals. Oh, and they were $2.50. Ca-Caw! That is the sound of me swooping in and taking too many of them. My Cube was packed to the brim with Hellebores. I drove away feeling like a villain with a curly mustache. Bwah ha ha!

and so it begins….

24 Mar

Later than projected, the grand tour of the yard will now commence. It’s a mess. It’s neglected. It’s bewildering. Shall we?

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I’m going to ease into it, and let the shock of it all slowly sink in. So, here you have a bed that I actually may have finished. What was once two barberry (Satanicus x. hellfireous) bushes and four prehistoric and butchered azaleas (see banner photo), is now full of all sorts of shady friends. I will get into it more as it comes in, but there are the expected hostas and ferns with a few little surprises tucked here and there. It is the equivalent of castle grounds in comparison to the rest of the yard. Behold:

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This monstrosity is running beside my driveway. It is unmowable, and therefore, a perfect spot for a large bed of awesomeness. I am actually the party responsible for the landscape cloth job, in an effort to get it all ready for spring planting. Protip: if you don’t have garden staples, you CANNOT use just plain nails to keep the cloth down. Live and learn. There’s a little sliver that is “done” so we could see if it would stay in place. I have been ordering things to go there since January, and they start shipping tomorrow (eeeek!). It’s half shade, half sun. No spoilers, you just have to wait and see. All I can say is that it will be a game changer.

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This immaculate little plot of earth is the other side of the driveway. The holly has contracted a luscious blight, it seems. Or maybe it is committing suicide, I can’t be certain. Don’t be jealous. We can’t all be naturals.

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This is at the top of the driveway, and the part I was most excited about getting my hands on. At the point you see here, I have ripped out 4 tumerous weigelas, two more barberry bushes, an absurd amount of ivy, and random weeds. This is all cleaned up, if you can imagine. To your left you can see the wobbly stairs of death. Big plans for this guy as well. There are still five or six (!!!!) azaleas in this little spot and a huge half dead rhododendron. The jury is still out on their fate. I would like to take this opportunity to declare that I absolutely hate weigela.

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This is my side yard. If you squint, you can certainly see it’s potential. In this large bed in the foreground, I have removed a full size holly tree. I cut it down with a handsaw and felt like a champion. The only other thing in these beds was another horrible amount of ivy. The daffodil fairy must have visited here many times because they are planted in very random places. I am making my way through that and putting them in more appropriate places, dividing as I go. Lastly, there were 4 massive clumps of pampas grass planted on the house. Yes on. And by massive, I mean like four feet in diameter each. The always helpful internet informed me that a truck and fire was the best way to remove them. I used a ramp digger. Two days later, I am the manliest gal in the world. From that alone, I have Hulk Hogan’s biceps. It’s magical. At this point, I would like to vocalize my opinion on pampas grass: it should be illegal. I hate it more than a lot of things.

And finally, I would like to introduce you to my partner in crime, Davey Havok…Image

He’s my shadow in the yard. He’s nine and loves his new house. He could also use braces.

 

It’s going to be a busy week, I’m sure I will have more for you soon.