and so it begins….

24 Mar

Later than projected, the grand tour of the yard will now commence. It’s a mess. It’s neglected. It’s bewildering. Shall we?


I’m going to ease into it, and let the shock of it all slowly sink in. So, here you have a bed that I actually may have finished. What was once two barberry (Satanicus x. hellfireous) bushes and four prehistoric and butchered azaleas (see banner photo), is now full of all sorts of shady friends. I will get into it more as it comes in, but there are the expected hostas and ferns with a few little surprises tucked here and there. It is the equivalent of castle grounds in comparison to the rest of the yard. Behold:


This monstrosity is running beside my driveway. It is unmowable, and therefore, a perfect spot for a large bed of awesomeness. I am actually the party responsible for the landscape cloth job, in an effort to get it all ready for spring planting. Protip: if you don’t have garden staples, you CANNOT use just plain nails to keep the cloth down. Live and learn. There’s a little sliver that is “done” so we could see if it would stay in place. I have been ordering things to go there since January, and they start shipping tomorrow (eeeek!). It’s half shade, half sun. No spoilers, you just have to wait and see. All I can say is that it will be a game changer.


This immaculate little plot of earth is the other side of the driveway. The holly has contracted a luscious blight, it seems. Or maybe it is committing suicide, I can’t be certain. Don’t be jealous. We can’t all be naturals.


This is at the top of the driveway, and the part I was most excited about getting my hands on. At the point you see here, I have ripped out 4 tumerous weigelas, two more barberry bushes, an absurd amount of ivy, and random weeds. This is all cleaned up, if you can imagine. To your left you can see the wobbly stairs of death. Big plans for this guy as well. There are still five or six (!!!!) azaleas in this little spot and a huge half dead rhododendron. The jury is still out on their fate. I would like to take this opportunity to declare that I absolutely hate weigela.


This is my side yard. If you squint, you can certainly see it’s potential. In this large bed in the foreground, I have removed a full size holly tree. I cut it down with a handsaw and felt like a champion. The only other thing in these beds was another horrible amount of ivy. The daffodil fairy must have visited here many times because they are planted in very random places. I am making my way through that and putting them in more appropriate places, dividing as I go. Lastly, there were 4 massive clumps of pampas grass planted on the house. Yes on. And by massive, I mean like four feet in diameter each. The always helpful internet informed me that a truck and fire was the best way to remove them. I used a ramp digger. Two days later, I am the manliest gal in the world. From that alone, I have Hulk Hogan’s biceps. It’s magical. At this point, I would like to vocalize my opinion on pampas grass: it should be illegal. I hate it more than a lot of things.

And finally, I would like to introduce you to my partner in crime, Davey Havok…Image

He’s my shadow in the yard. He’s nine and loves his new house. He could also use braces.


It’s going to be a busy week, I’m sure I will have more for you soon.


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